The personal blog of Ben Blain, his thoughts and flaws as a human.
My Startup Work:
Here I am.
Back in my childhood room.
From twenty years ago.
Aotearoa used to feel like a vortex
Of personal debts, obligations,
Mistakes made and shame.
Today it feels like the clear sky.
Over the last two months I have
visited hundreds of dear ones.
Overflowing again and again
with care, laughter, and aroha.
Acceptance of death.
Celebration of life.
In this cultivation of joyful bonds
I have never felt so free.
Burning with curiosity about
the future that’s inside us.
Such a fizzy feeling!
Like the scintillating of cymbals,
Or the effervescence of champagne,
Or eyelashes fluttering, dazzled,
At the Sun reflected in water.
Weighed down by this bag
Of essential instruments,
and this one-way ticket,
I am soon to be unleashed.
Like a collie streaking up the ridgeline
In the fanfare of another morning.
To see what love and purpose
May bring.
9 July 2026, Sincerely.
A dream is a plaited line through time,
Tied around my waist and cast into my essence,
A sacred Manaia finds & binds the end,
To a giant fish swimming in a future,
Where my dream has already unfolded.
The slack drains from the dripping line,
Drawing my waka forward from my centre,
Across a mirrored surface of higher dimensions,
That I can barely sense at all.
Many dreams, many plaited lines,
Drawing me deeper into my essence.
The journey isn’t across an ocean,
But down a whirlpool, a vortex,
A conflux, a kaleidoscope,
Of fortune and experience,
Concentrating!
I do not have to eat all the way down to the bone of the dream.
I can scent it on the horizon and,
Detecting only flavours of the past ask,
Do I want another taste?
Other dreams are towering fortresses,
Wombs around a wounded child.
Heal, forgive, and let go the lines,
To my ancient anchors.
At this point in my life there are millions of futures radiating out from my centre. Most of them are tragic or trivial, deriving from my own ego and insecurity i.e. becoming a narcissistic billionaire with a sham marriage to a supermodel. Other futures are implanted by something I thought was cool as a child, like owning an Aston Martin and pretending I’m 007 (years old maybe).
Thankfully, some of the futures are wonderful. Full of love and life, peace and meaning.
I imagine walking hand in hand with my daughter. She’s telling me all about her classmates and their pets. As we walk we sing silly songs and laugh, or kick pebbles on the path that catch our eye. When we get home she runs to her mum and is swept up, covered in a hundred kisses. They are my dream.
31 May 2026, Butterscotch piña colada.
Happy Birthday to Sir David Attenborough, who turns 100 today (8th May in the United Kingdom).
I believe he has seen more life on Earth than anyone who has ever lived, and for much of it he brought billions of us along with him. That I grew up to work as a biologist in the wilds is due to the inspiration and love for nature bestowed by Sir David’s many documentaries.
Words can’t express my love for this man and his work. Endlessly wise, witty, daring and full of compassion – Sir David is, and will always be, my hero.
If you want to take a trip through his career, here are 100 iconic moments from Sir David Attenborough.
8 May 2026, Cheers to your good health!
The second of two caboose-inspired entries, the first is here.
A loved one was going through a particularly uncertain time a year ago. Her mantra became “Keep moving through it. Keep moving through.” It reminded me of the story of the Little Red Caboose, I think I can. I think I can I think I can. So when I hit my own big, icy stretches of uncertainty, I adopted it.
“Keep moving through it.”
The promise here is that the extraordinary uncertainty and tough times will come to an end. They almost always do, whether through our own wise and upwards actions or simply regression to the mean. Good times follow bad eventually.
A year on and global uncertainty has escaped it’s pen and is brutally bounding all over the place. I didn’t want to be enthralled by it, so adapted this little mantra to cope,
“Let whatever needs to happen – happen.”
It is grounded in acceptance, but I felt like it was missing something hopeful and essential. Perhaps something more like,
“Let whatever needs to happen – happen, and tend to the nourishing of the soil.”
In the great-circle of my infinite-ignorance, who knows what beautiful happenings are taking root out of sight?
What gorgeous buds may depend on us tomorrow?
1 May 2026, Growing my Seoul patch.