For the first time I have been learning to surf and it has been painful! Tossed and rolled by waves, bruised-ribs and calf-cramps, even having my board smash my nose (blood everywhere). After the first four hours of this I was thinking “maybe surfing isn’t for me” but I decided to try one more lesson… and it clicked.

Suddenly I knew the feeling of the surfboard slithering in the lather. An exhilarating sense of support and ease. The choice of when to bail into the soft ocean, and the flash of earned pride upon surfacing to cheer on the other newbies.

In that moment surfing became fun. Not the fake-fun of gamification, or the dopamine button-pushing of social media, but real ear-to-ear, eyes shining bright, tail wagging fun.

Fun is good. Fun helps us to commit to people and pursuits while deeper motivations develop inside us. Fun first dates lead to second dates. Fun workouts lead to consistent workouts. Fun helps us to tolerate a little pain and causes us to become sticky (to persist with something new) which is why product designers try so hard to make their stuff fun.

But often, the most enjoyable things in the world (e.g. surfing, sex, sudoku) are not fun to begin with. Getting bashed by the waves sucked, but I focused on the euphoric faces of those who could do it; “I want to know what that feels like.”

How can we get to the fun part more reliably?
1) Look at the faces of those who are proficient, are they having fun? If not, don’t expect to have any either. This counts for workplaces too.
2) Ask people how long it took them to start feeling confident and capable i.e. set a real expectation of the commitment needed to get to fun.
3) Are there any moments in which you’re grinning like a fool (unselfconsciously, which is actually wise) even while finding it difficult? That’s an indicator.
4) White-belt mentality: acknowledge that you will suck in the beginning so give yourself a break and free yourself from image or expectation.
5) Be whole-hearted while you are doing it. Second guess things later, live in the moment while you can.

Have fun!